


There's Kinks in This Yarn, but It Still Knits Up Fine

by isbmlamloi



Category: Knitting (Anthropomorfic)
Genre: Crack, Crafts, Knitting, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isbmlamloi/pseuds/isbmlamloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The diary of a circular needle who just cannot STAND the thought of knitting another *(@#ing scarf.  Luckily, KnitLife.com exists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's Kinks in This Yarn, but It Still Knits Up Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Addiepants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addiepants/gifts).



> This fic uses the gender-neutral pronouns "sie" and "hir."
> 
> Many thanks to my wonderful beta-readers H., D., and L. and my local fellow Yuletiders L., O., and I. for not (as of this writing) committing me to an institution for this ridiculousness of a fic.

January 3

Dear diary,

Well, today is it. A new start. New year, new me, and a new journal for it all. I'm kind of scared, honestly, but I'm wayyy more excited! I've had these thoughts for so long, and I'm finally going to do something about them!

I made an account on KnitLife. I don't know what I expect in response. Will I get any messages? Does my username--I decided on ZTwist--does it make me seem like I'm more experienced than I am? I guess my profile would solve any problems there, since I say it right out: “Size 6 circular bored with garter and stockinette, interested in trying more!” I hope I don't just get a slew of tip pics in response, ugh.

I did search around the site for a while. There's certainly some interesting ways that yarn and needles get together, some more intriguing than others. I can't believe I spent so many years not knowing the options...

Well, nothing to do right now but read, send messages, and wait. And wonder...

-me

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January 5

Diary,

Oh my god. I have a message, it's from a totally hot silk/wool blend, and sie wants to help “expand my stitch repertoire.” I really did not expect anyone to message me so soon! Seriously, am I ready to go through with this? I wrote back but haven't hit send yet. Aaauuuugh. *cable flail*

OK, I can do this. I'll suggest we meet at Pints 'n' Purls. That's a good low-stress environment. We can just swatch and see what happens. It's not a commitment -- even if the gauge is right, even though we met on KnitLife, it doesn't mean we have to actually do anything new, right? Stockinette isn’t out of the question, I get to set the pace here, after all.

OK, I hit send. Let's see what happens. :)

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 5

Sie said yes to Pints 'n' Purls!

Wow. I have a date. *tips crossed*

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 10

Diary,

I've been messaging with Zephyr--that's the silk/wool blend, isn't hir name so exotic?--all week, and I'm much less nervous. Sie is pretty awesome, and there's good reason to think our gauge will work out.

I've spent all day getting ready. My tips are smooth, my join is snug, my cable flexible. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Wish me luck!

-me

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January 11

Dear diary,

Wow.

I suppose I could leave it at that--I don't think I'll ever forget this night--but I want to write it out, too. Look at it and feel how real it was.

Mmm, yes, Zephyr and I... Well, let's start from the beginning. Sie was just as gorgeous in person as online, with a silken sheen that must not show well in pictures but is beautiful in person. Sie was not at all shy; right there in public sie ran a thread along my cable, skimming lightly across my join (SO glad I tightened up before leaving--no snag!) Anyone could have seen! Not to say sie was pushy, not at all; sie was so polite and attentive to what I wanted. And how I wanted! I surprised myself, jumping in so fast, but I guess I was ready! So yeah, we basically swatched right there in public. I didn't care who saw. As expected, our gauge was... well, it was spot-on. Like we were meant to be. I looked at hir, sie looked at me, and well... sie invited me back to hir project bag, and I accepted. It was that simple!

Once there, well, then came time for the actual negotiation. Sure I was jumping in points-first, but I still wanted to take SOME parts of it slow. So we determined we'd just stick with stockinette until I felt comfortable with something else. It was great. Sie was tender and gentle, wrapping around my tip as I thrust in and out of hir stitches, tugging gently to maintain that perfect note of tension... It was so good, and I felt so comfortable. So, I did it! I asked hir to introduce me to something new. It didn't even feel like a big deal at the time, it was just so right.

So, sie showed me some of the basics of lacework. It was simple really, all based on things I had already done; why was I scared again? The yarn over was... sie just wrapped around me and held tight, no penetration necessary, satisfying just in being encircled. What happened after was slightly more complicated, and it makes me blush even just to write it out here, in my own journal, but... sie had me knit two together. Slide in like it's no big deal, but into TWO stitches, and both get pulled up and over. It required a little bit more exertion than I'm used to, and a bit more attention, but came pretty naturally. Of course, we didn't get into a full-on PATTERN with the YOs and the K2togs, just threw them in every now and then, but it was enough for me to get a taste.

Zephyr was also amazing in talking with me afterwards. I certainly had some questions, stuff about the direction of the YO and the like, plus sie had answers to questions I didn't even know I had. For example, some in the scene insist you ALWAYS K2tog after a YO, that it's even part of the act of the YO itself, but sie says that's not really true. It’s not a problem if someone thinks that's how you do it, but I should apparently always check first to ensure I'm on the same page as my partner.

So, yeah. That happened. You know, if you had told me a year ago that I was going to do lace, I would have laughed. But look at me now, eh? :)

\- me

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January 13

Diary,

I need a place to vent. I was browsing some of the discussions on KnitLife and came across a thread where people were bashing on straight needles. ARGH I am SO ANGRY at people's stereotypes sometimes. Just because a set of needles is straight DOES NOT mean they are--well OK yes it means they're rigid, but we all are in THAT sense. Maybe it means they do a little bit less than circulars, but that's not a CHOICE, it's how they're MADE. Circulars aren’t just straights with a different attitude! We're engineered differently! Sure, circulars can go straight for a while, but that doesn't mean that straights haven't figured out great ways to bend circular patterns to their own ends. Maybe knitting flat isn't YOUR thing, but it is for plenty of needles, so I really don't see what the problem is. Stop the hate! Tip love forever!

(Diary, I don't want to forget DPNs. I just know a lot less about their struggles with the needle binary, especially with their group events! Seven pairs per sweater? They can’t be serious. How do they manage all those tips?)

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 23

Dear diary,

Things are going well with Zephyr. We've played twice in the past two weeks, and each time has been wonderful. Sie really has been great for me in my experimentation; sie's done it all, frogged, and done it again, and really wants to help others expand their horizons.

Rereading this makes it feel like we're rushing, but in person everything feels just right. OK yeah, sie suggested these new techniques, slipping stitches and passing them over, and I wasn't sure, but just a few rows later found myself doing them--that's FAST but it's not RUSHING. Sie suggests, doesn't force. I heard so many horror stories of premature pattern commitment and strained tension that I feel really lucky to have found hir.

Yet, somehow sie's not enough. Lacework, sie's all over, and it's working out QUITE well for me, but after this taste I need… more. Does that make me a KnitLife stereotype, Diary?

Anyway, sie says sie's not really the right yarn for some other stuff. Luckily, sie wasn't looking for a commitment to a large pattern with me either. Meeting every now and then, cracking out a nightly sampler with new lace, that seems to be the agreement we'll both be happy with.

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 12

Dear diary,

:) I have another possible partner! Well, actually, partners... yes two! The first is a yarn that Zephyr knows from hir old LYS, and honestly I've heard of hir too--sie is kind of a name in the scene, Cascade. Sie's not a blend but solid wool, bit fuzzy, not at all into lace, but... sie has a friend sie goes around with, a cute, short little needle named Sally, and they messaged me together to ask if I'm interested in cabling with them. Wow, right? I mean, they're not the first to hit me on KnitLife with that kind of offer, but I liked what they (politely) said, unlike THOSE messages that are totally scummy about it. Ugh, there was totally this acrylic that just sent me a close-up picture of hir ply, and like...no. Just no.

Cabling... I want to try it, but I worry because there's another needle present. That's just an added layer of stress, you know? It's one thing to accidentally, I don't know, split your yarn's strands, it's another to do that while they've also got stitches sitting on another needle and you've just held the whole process up and made it awkward and arrrgh. On the other hand, cabling can be so GORGEOUS, and the actual mechanics of it (from what I've read) aren't that complex. Maybe later you don’t need another needle after all? I really want to try it, and Cascade is certainly the yarn to get a primer with, it seems.

I'll ask Zephyr to tell me more about Cascade, and I'll look up more about hir on KnitLife too. Since sie's so well known in the scene, there's a lot of information available. Patterns sie's been in and the like. Will sie give me a reputation? Maybe I'll see what kind of cabling sie and Sally have done with others before, and see if anything catches my eye.

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 16

Dear diary,

OMG! Cascade and Sally are amaaazing together. You should see this photoset I found called "Rogue" where they hooked up with another circular to do this fantastic pattern. I don't know if I'd have the stamina… but I keep staring at it for hours. I think I'm going to write them back and say that we should meet.

In other news, Zephyr and I did more lace last night. I'm so comfortable with yarnovers now--not tired of them, oh no, but they don't scare me like they used to. So we've talked about formalizing an agreement for a small pattern rather than just a bunch of samplers. I mean, some small patterns that are no bigger than samplers, so it's not really a commitment, right? It's a philosophy change. It's the difference between having a say in what does or doesn't happen on a particular row and HAVING to do particular things (we can always pause things, though of course waiting until the end of a row is the least awkward way to do it.) I think I'm ready. It's not like anything new or surprising will pop up; I have a say in the pattern after all.

Larger relationship dynamics aside, we've been doing way more than yarnovers and (sigh) k2togs now. Yeah, they're kind of the default for lace, but there's definitely more to do. We've started adding in some, er, back loop work (OK I know this journal is just for me, but some things are still a little weird to write out, you know?) every now and then (and yes, it can be quite tight sometimes.) Oh, I learned something new! I always thought there was no way anyone could knit THREE together, that's why there's that slipped stitch thing, but it turns out it IS doable and sometimes perfect. I mean, if you've agreed upon it beforehand and all.

For me, though, I'm positively enamoured of... well, let me put it this way. When I take one of hir stitches and slide it across my tip, slipping hir gently onto my shaft, then angle around and penetrate two stitches at once, wrapping hir strand around me tight before I pull back out, and finish by lifting that one perfectly slipped stitch back over the stitch I just made, leaving hir wrapped around hirself like a little tight package, I feel... well, I feel the thrill that urged me to start a KnitLife account in the first place. Stockinette can do the job, but it's NOTHING like this.

...OK I'm rereading what I just wrote, and by my joins, I cannot believe I can write like that! I guess this little personality experiment really IS expanding my horizons. Welcome to the new me, 2013 edition!

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 16

Cascade, Sally, and I have a date for Thursday. It's on!

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 19

Dear diary,

Hmm, maybe it's time for another little change... a makeover? Nothing drastic, I've just been feeling like the color of my cable isn't really "me" any more, and it's not hard to replace it with something else. Maybe it’s the winter blahs. It's not like I HAVE to have a "neutral" color for any reason (Does anyone have to? Whatever.) I'm thinking something that pops. Purple, maybe?

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 21

Dear diary,

Cascade, Sally, and I met up tonight. They’re so enthusiastic! They chatted my ear off about the LYSes they've both been to, together and separately, and the various yarns and needles they've met, and some of the more salacious details of the patterns they've gotten themselves wrapped up in. Oh, and Cascade had this hilarious story about the day sie found hir thread all knotted up--note to self, never go to bed that drunk!--and how long it took hir to untangle hirself. I laughed so hard I kinked my cable.

So, yeah. We're going to meet up again next week and swatch a bit.

I went through with the new cable color, and I love it, but now my cable is all stiff. Ow. I think I'll take a warm bath and see if that helps loosen me up.

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 23

Dear diary,

Mmm. Saw Zephyr last night, and I'm still blissed out. We did it; we decided on a pattern, just a simple little thing, nothing new to either of us, but oh, I learned what the benefit of a pattern is: you get lost in it. It's hypnotic, everything goes on autopilot, you just insert and wrap and slide and yarn over and slip your tip, you know your angle, regular, so smooth... Like I said, I'm still blissed out!

I can still feel hir sliding across my shaft...

-me

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

February 27

Well, diary, let me tell you all about my first swatching with Cascade and Sally. We didn't actually get to any cabling, but that doesn't mean it wasn't interesting: first they kind of put on a show for me, which was a hell of an ice-breaker. Then Sally sat out for a bit, and Cascade and I... well, we swatched. Sally didn't really get involved; it felt weird how sie just sat there, even though I‘d been watching them doing the same. It was intimidating, but nothing went wrong, and soon I stopped worrying. Though my gauge with Cascade is slightly different than hirs, we're close enough that it won't matter for future cabling.

So, yeah. That was perfectly acceptable. They seem nice enough. I could at least try out cabling once.

-me

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March 2

Dear diary,

So, now I've cabled.

It was... actually just OK. Nothing spectacular. I mean, it's certainly worth journaling about--it wasn’t BAD. I think maybe I've been having too good of a time with Zephyr lately, and so had higher expectations? I don't know.

We started off like the last time ended, with Cascade and I alone at first. We were doing reverse stockinette, which is--well stockinette really. It doesn't really matter except in the context of a pattern, I think. Maybe it told Sally where and when to join in? Sie mainly just sat and watched until it was time for the actual act of cabling. That's really the most disappointing thing about cabling: there's a lot of the third needle sitting alone while the other two are getting their stitch on, then some third needle/yarn interaction, a brief kiss between the two needles, and then the third is gone again. First Cascade and I completed about half a row, then Sally came and slid some of Cascade's stitches onto hirself and held them out of the way while I connected back to Cascade on the other side of hir, then sie twined around me and I knit off of hir, and finally I returned to the stitches on Cascade. Some people might really enjoy the twisting around each other that we all get to do, but I think Cascade is the one who gets the most out of it. Too acrobatic for my tastes, and less...sensual? I mean, it's basically just patches of stockinette with another needle you have to work around sometimes. It doesn't have the complexity or stitch variety of lace, it's all still basic in and out, knit and purl.

So yeah. A good experience to have, but perhaps not what I want to stick with. Lovely results, but the mechanics are...not my kink, I guess.

Mark one down for the 'lessons learned' column.

-me

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March 5

Dear diary,

Frog it all to bare needles. :( Zephyr has decided to commit to a shawl pattern with one of the other needle sets sie has been experimenting with. I guess they really work well together; something about tip sharpness? Sie's happy to see me again afterwards, but sie'll be tied up--literally!--for a while. Maybe even months.

Back to the hunt, I guess. I'm not upset with hir, just grumpy that this came right after the cabling disappointment. Oh well. I was on a roll for a while, it makes sense that I'd eventually hit a snag.

-me

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March 8

Dear diary,

I've updated my KnitLife profile! Lace is now a definite interest, cabling not so much. Saw a mention in another circular’s profile about double knitting, but that may have the same problems as cabling. Well it’s two yarns and one set of needles, so maybe not? I should see. Entrelac looks kinky; I've even messaged some variegated yarns about it, since I think they're really hot knit that way.

I'm focusing on looking forward. There's still so much more to experience. The year has barely started! 

-me


End file.
